NEWS: McDonald’s Testing English Pub Burger, But Pickled Eggs Not Included

/ / Fast Food News / 18 Comments

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McDonald’s is testing another variation of their Angus Third Pounder and they’re calling it the English Pub Burger.

I was surprised by this burger because I didn’t know English pubs were known for their burgers. I thought they were known for fish and chips, bangers and mash, shepherd’s pies, pickled eggs, and ploughman’s lunches.

The English Pub Burger is made up of a 1/3 pound Angus beef patty, hickory-smoked bacon, white Cheddar cheese, American cheese, grilled onions, steak sauce, and Dijon mustard in between an artisan roll. Grub Grade reader James from Illinois tried the burger and was impressed.

Right now, they appear to only be available at select locations in Illinois and there’s no word about a Snack Wrap version. I hope it makes it to all McDonald’s restaurants because it sounds damn tasty. However, you know what would go great with a McDonald’s English Pub Burger? A McDonald’s Shamrock Guinness Milkshake. I hope they start testing that soon.

Sources: Burger Business and Grub Grade

REVIEW: SoBe Pure Water (Watermelon, Black Cherry & Golden Pineapple)

/ / Reviews / 11 Comments

Sobe Pure Water (Watermelon, Black Cherry & Golden PIneapple)

According to my computer’s built-in dictionary, the word “pure” is defined as:

1. Not mixed or adulterated with any other substance or material.
2. Without any extraneous and unnecessary elements.

If we were to go by those definitions, SoBe Pure Water isn’t at all pure, since it’s not only made with water, but also erythritol, citric acid, natural flavor, calcium lactate, potassium citrate, sea salt, purified stevia extract, tartaric acid, and lactic acid. With that many ingredients, it’s as if SoBe’s benchmark for pure was a rock band groupie.

Perhaps there’s a third definition in the unabridged Oxford English Dictionary that goes something like this:

3. A BS term marketing folks use for products that have no calories, no colors, no preservatives, and no artificial sweeteners.

SoBe Pure comes in three flavors: Watermelon, Golden Pineapple, and Black Cherry. And they’re available exclusively at Target. If you don’t have a Target nearby, you’re S.O.L., which I believe the unabridged Oxford English Dictionary defines as: Settling for Other Liquids.

Each SoBe Pure is enhanced with “a drop of flavor.” But if my math is correct, which it always isn’t because I’m not a stereotypical Asian, a drop shouldn’t be able to create a level of flavor that these SoBe Pure waters have. Their flavors aren’t as strong as SoBe Lifewater, but the difference between the two varieties of flavored SoBe water isn’t much.

SoBe Pure Watermelon is one of those flavors I’m not sure if I truly enjoy. It doesn’t taste like watermelon, but then again, everything “watermelon-flavored” doesn’t taste like watermelon. However, it tastes as if I was making out with a girl who just finished sucking on a Watermelon Jolly Rancher.

SoBe Pure Golden Pineapple is my favorite of the three flavors. Although its aroma is a bit flowery and artificial, it really tastes like someone grabbed a chunk of fresh pineapple, squeezed it over a 20-ounce bottle of water to extract a couple of drops of pineapple juice, recapped the water bottle, and then shook it to mix.

SoBe Pure Black Cherry smells decent, but it tastes vile. Imagine trying to get mo’ ‘tussin by putting some water in a bottle of cough syrup, shaking it, and then drinking it. That’s what SoBe Pure Black Cherry tastes like. I’ve gone through a fourth of the bottle and I won’t finish the rest because it’s quite disgusting.

Overall, SoBe Pure may be “natural with zero calories” and it may have electrolytes, but it doesn’t electrify me. If you’re looking for a lightly flavored water with no calories, no colors, no preservatives, and no artificial sweeteners that isn’t available everywhere, might I recommend Hint Water. They’re definitely a lot more natural tasting than SoBe Pure.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 30 milligrams of sodium, 4 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Other SoBe Pure reviews:
Thirsty Dudes: Watermelon & Black Cherry
Drink What

Item: SoBe Pure Water (Watermelon, Black Cherry & Golden PIneapple)
Price: $1.00 (on sale)
Size: 20 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Watermelon)
Rating: 2 out of 10 (Black Cherry)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Golden Pineapple)
Pros: No calories, no colors, no preservatives, and no artificial sweeteners. Has electrolytes. Golden Pineapple was good. Watermelon was decent.
Cons: Black Cherry was vile. Target exclusive. Watermelon doesn’t taste like real watermelons. Scent of Golden Pineapple was flowery and artificial. Not really pure. Carrying an unabridged Oxford English Dictionary.

NEWS: Make Your Upper Palate Raw With Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch

/ / Spotted on Shelves / 9 Comments

Despite its possible mouth shredding abilities, I’m a fan of Cap’n Crunch. There’s something about that sweetened golden cereal that makes my tongue set sail for Yum Island. I’m also a fan of chocolate, despite its waist expanding abilities. So I’m excited about the two of them combining to form the new Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch.

It’s not the first time the Cap’n has sailed the ocean blue and came back with a chocolatey treasure. There was Cap’n Crunch’s Choco Donuts, a peanut butter and chocolate Cap’n Crunch, and two different cereals called Cap’n Crunch’s Choco Crunch, one with regular yellow Cap’n Crunch with chocolate puff cereal and another with chocolate flavored Cap’n Crunch, which is what this new cereal looks like.

So Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch is pretty much a renamed Cap’n Crunch’s Choco Crunch. It’s as if Cap’n Crunch sailed to India, brought back fine silk, went back to India, came back from India, and when asked what new items he’s returned with, he shows everyone silk.

The naturally and artificially flavored sweetened corn and oat cereal is made with real cocoa. A 3/4 cup serving has 110 calories, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 125 milligrams of sodium, and 11 grams of sugar. It’s available in 14-ounce boxes.

FLAVORS OF THE MONTH: July 2011

/ / Fast Food News / 2 Comments

E3 2011 - Captain America's shield from Captain America: the First Avenger (Sega)

Here are this month’s limited time offers.

When summer rolls around you can expect summer blockbuster movies. And, with those summer movies you can expect companies to release tie-ins, like Baskin Robbins’ Flavor of the Month, Super Soldier Swirl Ice Cream, which promotes the upcoming Captain America: The First Avenger movie. Just like Captain America’s shield and uniform, the ice cream comes in red, white, and blue. It consists of vanilla ice cream swirled with blue candy chips and a cherry flavored ribbon. A 4-ounce scoop has 260 calories, 13 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 31 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein.

Slurpee is also releasing a movie tie-in flavor — Alienade. The flavor, which sounds like a sports drink for aliens, is a promotional tie-in for the sci-fi flick Cowboys & Aliens. Alienade is a combination of strawberry, raspberry, and lemonade. An 8-ounce serving has 65 calories, 0 grams of fat, 5 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, and 17 grams of sugar.

Cold Stone Creamery’s Gold Cone Collection Flavor for July — Strawberry Basil — makes me wonder if the folks at Cold Stone Creamery are smoking something way better than what the flavor gurus at Ben & Jerry’s are smoking. Basically, Ben & Jerry’s got out Ben & Jerry-ed by Cold Stone Creamery because combining fruit with herbs in an ice cream is quite creative. If you do decided to take the plunge and grab yourself some Strawberry Basil ice cream, the largest serving size has 770 calories, 43 grams of fat, 28 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 92 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 80 grams of sugar, 9 grams of protein, 25% vitamin A, 440% vitamin C, and 40% calcium.

Triple Chocoholic Blizzard is July’s Blizzard of the Month at Dairy Queen. It’s made using the trifecta of truffles, choco chunks, and fudge blended with vanilla soft serve. A small serving has 710 calories, 32 grams of fat, 18 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 97 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 77 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein. But if you’re a true chocoholic, a large size has 1400 calories, 68 grams of fat, 40 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 183 grams of carbohydrates, 10 grams of fiber, 146 grams of sugar, and 25 grams of protein.

Finally, Subway’s July $5 Featured Footlong is the Italian B.M.T. (Biggest, Meatiest, Tastiest). The sandwich is made up of Genoa salami, pepperoni, Black Forest Ham, and cheese. Personally, any sandwich that needs to tell people it’s big and meaty probably has self-esteem issues. A footlong has 900 caloires, 40 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 110 milligrams of cholesterol, 3000 milligrams of sodium, 93 grams of carbohydrates, 11 grams of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, 44 grams of protein, 20% vitamin A, 40% vitamin C, 80% calcium, and 30% iron.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Frosted Cherry Turnover Pop-Tarts

/ / Reviews / 13 Comments

Limited Edition Frosted Cherry Turnover Pop-Tarts

When I die, I hope my tombstone doesn’t say, “Ate way too many Pop-Tarts,” even though I have eaten way too many Pop-Tarts.

Oh wait, I’m being cremated, so I hope my urn isn’t etched with “Ate way too many Pop-Tarts” or my body isn’t burned into ashes using a giant toaster oven.

If humans didn’t poop, I would have more variety of Pop-Tarts in my body than any grocery store on the planet. Just look at all the different Pop-Tarts I’ve eaten and reviewed over the years in a convenient linked list that totally looks like a ploy to increase this blog’s page views:

If this list of Pop-Tarts flavors was instead a list of women I’ve slept with, I would be considered a manwhore and probably have/had spread an STD or two. Or three. Or everything that’s listed in the Oxford American Handbook of Clinical Medicine.

The latest Pop-Tarts flavor that has allowed me to add another notch to the side of my toaster is the Limited Edition Frosted Cherry Turnover Pop-Tarts.

If you look at the photo below, you’ll notice Kellogg’s is being very generous by calling these Pop-Tarts “frosted.” There’s no doubt that there’s frosting on top, but instead of a layer of it like with other frosted Pop-Tarts, it’s drizzled on much like you’d find on many actual cherry turnovers. This amount of frosting is equivalent to the amount of skin a Wicked Weasel bikini covers, which is just enough to make you wonder, “Why bother?”

Limited Edition Frosted Cherry Turnover Pop-Tarts Closeup

There has been a regular Frosted Cherry Pop-Tarts for some time now with a proper layer of frosting on top. I thought the Limited Edition Frosted Cherry Turnover Pop-Tarts would taste exactly the same. So in order to find out, I increased my chances for Type II diabetes by picking up a box and eating regular Frosted Cherry Pop-Tarts.

After tasting both, the difference in flavor reminds me of the time my parents switched my usual Frosted Blueberry Pop-Tarts with Blueberry Pop-Tarts without frosting. Back then, my young taste buds could notice a significant difference. The unfrosted one was less sweet, the blueberry flavor was less pronounced, and the lack of sweetness and flavor made me cry until my parents could produce in front of me a Frosted Blueberry Pop-Tart.

The Limited Edition Frosted Cherry Turnover Pop-Tart is also less sweet and the cherry flavor is less pronounced than a regular cherry Pop-Tart. It’s as if the Pop-Tart’s nearly unfrosted crust doesn’t want the cherry to pop. But when I could taste the cherry filling, it didn’t have any artificial taste to it, which I guess there shouldn’t be since it’s made with real fruit (not only dried cherries, but also dried apples).

The Limited Edition Frosted Cherry Turnover Pop-Tarts are a disappointment and I’m glad they’re a limited edition. However, if you try them and adore them, don’t fret about them being limited edition. Even though they don’t taste exactly alike, grab a box of regular Cherry Pop-Tarts, scrape off the frosting, steal the frosting packet from a box of Toaster Strudels, drizzle some of it on top of the naked Pop-Tart, and there you go. The limited edition is limited no more.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pastry – 190 calories 30 calories from fat, 3.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 16 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)

Item: Limited Edition Frosted Cherry Turnover Pop-Tarts
Price: $2.79
Size: 8 pack
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: It’s a limited edition. The box might be worth $1.99 in a future eBay auction. Frosted Cherry Pop-Tarts. Wicked Weasel bikinis.
Cons: Disappointing flavor. It has frosting, but really can’t be considered frosted. Being burned in a giant toaster oven. The difference between frosted and unfrosted Pop-Tarts. Kellogg’s still making unfrosted Pop-Tarts. Lame attempts to gain page views.

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